Being Judicious, not Judgmental

One of the most difficult but necessary skills we need to develop as meditators is learning how to be judicious without being judgmental. An as a preliminary step to developing that skill, it's good to reflect on the difference beween the two.

Being judgmental is basically an effort to get rid of something we don't understand and probably don't want to understand. We see something we don't like and we try to dismiss it, to stamp it out without taking the time to understand it. we're impatient. Whatever we're being judgmental about, we just want to get rid of it quickly.

Being judicious, however, requires patience together with undestanding. A judicious choice is one you've made after understanding all the options, all the sides of a question. That way your choice is based on knowledge, not on greed, aversion, or delusion. [...]

The problem with being judgmental is that it's not effective. We try to stamp out things here and they go springing up someplace else. [...] Being judicious, though, is more effective. It's more precise. We see what's really skillful, what's really unskillful in the mind, and we learn how to disentangle the two. Often our skillful and unskillful habits get entangled. The things we don't like within ourselves actually do have some good in them, but we don't notice it. We focus instead on what we don't like, or what we're afraid of, and we end up trying to stamp it all out, the good along with the bad.

So this is why we meditate: to step back a bit, to watch things patiently so that we can see them for what they are and deal with them effectively. Our concentration practice gives us a comfortable center in our awareness where we can rest, where we feel less threatened by things. When we feel less threatened and less oppressed, we have the resilience to be more patient, to look into what's going on in the mind, and to develop the proper attitude toward what is skillful and what isn't. [...]

One of the main problems in modern life is that people have so little time. When they meditate, they want to cram as much of their meditation as possible into their little bits and pieces of spare time. Of course that aggravates the whole problem of bing judgmental. So keep reminding yourself that meditation is a long-term project. When you have a sense of that long arc of time, it's a lot easier to sit back and work very carefully at the basic steps. It's like learning any skill.

- By Thanissaro Bhikku, from "Meditations"

I am this wolf-dog.

Comfortingly Powerful.

I came across this video while looking for a new song to play.  The song is called By Your Side by Sade and I remember it being really popular a couple of years ago.  It became so popular that I looked past the message of the song.  Pay special attention to the lyrics in addition to this woman's incredible voice.  Here are the lyrics in their entirety.

Purposeful Proximity.

Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by the accidents of time, or place, or circumstances, are brought into closer connection with you. --Augustine of Hippo

Moments.

So much swirling around in my head about this video.  Examining each moment of a potential day...makes life big.

The Good News About Being Lonely

I was reading a book the other day that enlightened my understanding of loneliness.  Here's an excerpt...

”I wonder if loneliness is God’s way of getting our attention.  Here’s what I mean.  Suppose you borrow a friend’s car.  His radio doesn’t work, but his CD player does.  You rummage through his collection, looking for your style of music—let’s say, country-western.  But you find nothing.  He has nothing but his style of music—let’s say, classical.  It’s a long trip.  And you can talk to yourself for only so long.  So eventually you reach for a CD.  You’d prefer some steel guitar, but you’re stuck with soaring tenors.  Initially it’s tolerable.  At least it fills the air.  But eventually it’s enjoyable.  Your heart picks up the pattern of the kettledrums, your head rolls with the cellos, and you even catch yourself attempting a little Italian aria.  “Hey this isn’t so bad.”  Now, let me ask you.  Would you have made this discovery on your own?  No.  What led to it?  What caused you to hear music you’d never heard before?  Simple.  You had no other choice, no other option.  You had nowhere else to go.  Finally, when the silence was too loud, you took a chance on a song you’d never heard.”  --Traveling Light by Max Lucado

I liked this, thought I'd share.

Live.

When making your choice in life, do not neglect to live. --Samuel Johnson 

Quote of the day

Do not stop thinking of life as an adventure. You have no security unless you can live bravely, excitingly, imaginatively, unless you can choose a challenge instead of a competence. --Eleanor Roosevelt

This is my favorite scene from Ferris Bueller's Day Off